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What the fuck. október 31, 2006

Posted by herraheri in Herra the Heri, Zorc Wotan.
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Bitch! Do you really want to have fun?

Just search for „herra héri“ on google.de and click „Diese Seite übersetzen“. Man, it’s so peculiarly hilarious, dudes! Sick. So, if you feel like having a splendid afternoon full of laughs, just check the officially pimped German version of Herra Héri.

By the way, try the Spanish translation, too – joder!

Madness.

And don’t you ever forget: نيسان هو اقسي شهر!

Herra Héri, ihr Gecken!

Auglýsingar

The Skógar Depression október 26, 2006

Posted by thenut in Iceland.
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or:
Iceland Express Raises The National Income August 3rd and 4th Day 6 (and 7)

Skógar would be really nice if you spent the days before you arrive there with walking and shitting into nature, but if you miss your luggage, don`t have any kind of warm clothes that would probably prevent you from freezing and getting wet, and arriving there by bus, Skógar is pretty damn much related to hell. The depressive, wet and dark kind of hell…with a waterfall anyhow.

If there was no waterfall, Skogar „probably“ wouldn`t even exist.
Even though the hike along the river was nice and that the sleeping bag accommodation was really cheap (in both meanings) , Skógar turned out to be the „mood-goes-below-zero“ point of our trip.
Especially my mood, but I can tell you Mad Martin wasn`t singing and dancing as well.

After a great night on a shabby mattress in a Gym, I called at the Airport, they gave me the number of the Iceland Express Office („No, I can`t help you, call Iceland Express“), I called there, and after waiting 10 minutes in the queue they wanted to send me back to the Airport. So I started to get pissed and told the girl on the phone that she can fuck off and burn in hell if she terminates the phonecall like that.

Surprisingly she couldn`t help me. She only told me that I could have 100$, if I were in Reykjavik. And, yes, the last time we were there it has been possible to get this 100$, but when we were there she lied that this would be only possible after 5 days!
I don`t really know if the people at IE on the phone really work in this office… maybe they only love to chat with pissed of customers and after the phonecall they giggle a lot and bake another cake.

So, after a little bit of walking-useless-through-the-rain-and -getting-really-wet –fun, we finally drove back to Reykjavik, got into the IE Office and punched this phonecall-bitch until she cried like a little girl… well maybe it was more the last whistling of her lounge than crying.

No! Wait! Sadly this only happend in my mind while we paid about 600Euros for new Equipment and clothes.

As a compensation for all this shit that happend to us, all people that we met at this evening in Reykjavik were really nice and understanding for our situation. The guy in the Outdoorshop for example gave us more than 20% discount after I told him about this whole luggage stuff.
„Don`t hate Iceland, hate Iceland Express!“, he called after us when we left the shop to sleep for the first time in Iceland in a tent.

How Pathetic Can You Be? Use Guerilla Inspiration! október 24, 2006

Posted by mlelephant in Herra the Heri, M. L'éléphant.
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Oh yeah, everybody needs some rest, a break to sit down and let your thoughts stream through the body. Doubtlessly, some of the most tremendous inspirations of mankind arose in those tiny moments of relaxation and calmness.

However, some pessimistic people keep complaining that it is hardly likely to find such an delightful and epiphanic moment in a globalised world: The speed of motion, mobility, anxiety and fear to loose your job or miss the best party in town keep us unsteady – leave mankind as a restless bundle of madmen looking for the next buzz. Bang Bang. Shoot. Shoot. Or as Hallgrimur puts it in Rokland, globalisation leaves us as mouthbreeders, keeping our mind on a cultural minimal dose – an intellectual hand-to mouth life.

Sad. Sad. Sad. Oh Yeah. You might say and put yourself to rest fatalistically and depressed in a soft arm chair – TV switched on. But no. Some crazy and bright guerilla scientist just invented a new product which has the potential to give us some dignity back – at least. The SWC.

The SWC (Street Watch Couch) was invented by a group of underground scientist (who want to stay anonymously – of course) operating internationally. Their aim is to offer people inspiration and a minute of inner reflection during the daily stress. They illegally built couches next to important streets – the obligatory bag of crisps not missing. Here is a photo of such an „underground inspiration“ object.

Underground Inspiration (SWC)

So next time you feel empty, depressed and tired of your environment just go for a walk and look for the SWC – underground inspiration with international perspective. Guerilla Inspiration – anarchic Inspirationists – Steinkogel – Astrology and hijacked TV Shows.

Ford Ahoi! október 20, 2006

Posted by herraheri in Herra the Heri, Iceland.
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Hey hey folks!

Wednesday, August 2nd – Day 5

On Tuesday evening, we had enough of sitting in Reykjavík (doing more or less nothing, except paving our way with a great amount of stickers). We decided to go to Þorsmörk, located about 150 km southeast from Reykjavík. The bus ride was really fucking great. We spent about quarter an hour crossing a huge glacial river. I was pleased as a Punch. From time to time, the bus hit some really deep spots in the river and we seemed to sink right down into hell. Fucking awesome! Driving through a glacial river right in the middle of nowhere – and all this stuff with a public scheduled bus – fancy that!Our rideYEEEEAH!

When we arrived in Þorsmörk, an unbelieveable landscape waited for us. Snow-covered mountains a huge valley, glaciers, andin the background the dark rocks at the doorway to the mystic highlands. Well, and a colony of small houses looking more like a concentration camp than holiday cottages. BUT there was an almost natural hot pot situated in the middle of this almost unspoiled nature – quel plaisir!

ViewMordorrrView2

The next day, we did our first hike, through elve’s valleys, some cold, cold rivers (oooooh baby!), unconquerable mountains, wild straberry fields and stuff like that. Fresh. The landscape….BAM!!

Mr.FogInto the ford!Caspar David?

Exhausted but well-balanced we came back to our hut – just to see an unbelievably awful travel group (Germans) move in and destroy the hope to survive this night.

„Rrrrosie, brringst mir au meine Sondolen mit!“

It was horrible. They cooked some weird stuff. They babbled complete bullshit. They were talkative and „humorous“. One of them asked us if we were shocked of their appearence. Yes, we were, you old witch! At least we got something to eat. Didn’t make it more bearable. I had to spend I quite long time in the hot pot to chill out a little, a fancy maltextrakt in my trembling hands.

Of course at least every other of this unholy group snored. Chrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Chr.

Sitting, waiting, wishing október 14, 2006

Posted by herraheri in Herra the Heri, Iceland.
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Well, process of chill-out completed – let`s continue with the show

Monday/Tuesday, July 31st/August 1st – day 3/4

We were really missing Y’s backpack. IcelandExpress sucks. Trying to take the piss out of us. But hey, what can one do but laugh (well, we didn’t). Reykjavík is nice, but we felt that it would be quite cool to see some other parts of the country, too.

Anyway, we spent a nice evening with a 16-year old Spanish guy and, later on, some plastered 40-year old Icelandic women who kept walking with and talking to us in Icelandic. Well. We told her that we were both named „Herra Héri“ – she wouldn’t believe us. And when she noticed that we didn’t possess a car to drive her home, she was really pissed. So she decided to leave us and stumbled home.

Bored? Well, it’s getting better. Just wanted to share our agony with you.

The ravens on the lead október 6, 2006

Posted by herraheri in Herra the Heri, Iceland.
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So.

Sunday, July 30th – Day 2

If you want to allure a great bunch of Icelanders to one place, you need to offer something really special. For Icelanders, this could be cheap booze, large trees, huge amounts of coffee AND, the most important thing – something for free. These must have been the considerations of Sigur Rós, the best-known Icelandic band in these times, when they announced several concerts all around their home-country, all of them gratuit. The first of them should take place in Reykjavík on this very day. Lucky us. We heard that Sigur Rós wanted to shoot some dvd-material at the concert. That made sense in several ways: Firstly, they could be sure that a passable crowd would gather in the heart of Reykjavík nearby the Art Museum (considering that the concert was for free). Furthermore: There is no other explanation for two huge box-towers (held be cranes on both sides of the stage) and a video-crane than taking some serious footage. And last but not least: A helicopter. Sick.

The crane
As expected, many people centered on the meadow in front of the stage. However, they didn’t seem to prepare for a veritable concert but rather for some cosy little family parties – including dog, bicycle and baby. I think I saw some funny balloons, too. The hardcore-fan-community assembled right in front of the stage, the rest of the area was a nice folk festival.

F CK – All I need is U

The support act Amiina delivered the perfect múm-ish music for this ambiente. The first minutes of their music I thought the elves had finally started talking to me, then I stood up and realized that it was just these four girls making music. Nice.

The crowd
Our plans to get rich by spontaneously opening a beer booth where interrupted by the accurat start of the Sigur Rós – gig. The people in the area nearest to the stage stood up – not more, not less.

Sigur Rós 1

It was a good concert. The weather was nice. No dog did bite me. The frontman played his guitar with a violin bow and launched out some really high sounds. He looked a little autistic, in fact. A beamer created sick images on the large screen behind the band. The Amiina-girls played their string instruments in the background. A small brass band had some appearances. They played exactly two hours. Two good hours. Concert ambiente in the foreground; the majority of the crowd amusing themselves lying around on the meadow, creating their own parallel-festival.

Sigur Rós 2
When the concert was over, the area emptied within thirty seconds. Sick. Good night, y’all. We were somewhat cheerful about the evening and sprang around the grass and stuff. Alarming? No. Not yet. Iceland just wasn’t ready for us crazy European party animals.

Há.. október 1, 2006

Posted by herraheri in Herra the Heri.
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Hello there!

All this Germany stuff is really exhausting me – that’s why I have to take a little break and fly away to beautiful Spain. Eating pinxos in Bilbao and drinking beer for less tan 10 euros the pint is just the thing I need right now. But hey, don’t condemn me for this – anyhow, there will be some new Iceland posts published in the next 10 days. Additionally, you can watch the Iceland ’06-video just by scrolling down a little or by going to herra’s pics and carefully looking for it. And don’t forget to listen to Synesthesia, the officially pimped herra héri-song. As I didn’t mention this before – You will hear the following persons:

Ball Point Pen – voc/mix

M.L’élélphant a.k.a. esprit soleil – guit/lyrics

Wicked Valentine – b

Mad Martin – tb/voc

To enjoy this musical explosion in your brain, just click the colourful button in the sidebar or try this one.

So, have some nice days and so on!