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It’s a hard knock life maí 29, 2006

Posted by herraheri in Herra the Heri.

Good evening!

Have you ever thought about what it would be like if the whole world’s fast food restaurants would be centered in one land: let’s call it the Fast Food Nation? No? Well, maybe you should! But I was so kind to do this whole thinking process for you, and I can tell you what it would be like: ridiculous. The surface of this country would be as large as the one of….Switzerland – minimum! Imagine a country as big as Switzerland, accomodating nothing but millions of Burger King and McDonald – Restaurants.

There would be two major towns – King City and McMetropolis – which would be struggling for the right to be capital of the Fast Food Nation. In King City, the Burger Kings from all over the world have settled down, in McMetropolis all the McDonald’s. Now you might criticise that the inhabitants of both cities don’t have a great variety of food, as there are only BK’s respectively MC’s. But that’s absolutely not the case: Right in the heart of King City’s old town, a McDonald’s restaurant is situated, and a Burger King flourishes in the centre ville of McMetropolis. Both restaurants are well-known and popular places for citizens, as the meals offer a welcome change in daily food. But from time to time, fat-bomb-assaults and other violent food stuff happen, which kind of scares, but also thrills the clients.

But there’s not only holding hands and singing friendly tunes in Fast Food Nation! In the children’s corners of these restaurants, dark rebellious conspirations have formed to destroy the particular antagonistic citiy and the power of their enemies in the country. These so-called guerillas (as there are the Burger King Army (BKA – not very inventive, eh?) and the McDonald’s Anarcho-Communist Movement for Freedom in Fast Food Nation (MCACMFFFN – stupid shit! McMuffin would have sounded better)) are both practising a double-tracked strategy: At first, they do this whole bomb assault/assassination/threat stuff; second: they also smuggle agents in the parties of the foes to undermine their politics and actions.

That’s quite evil. One agent of the BKA even made it to Ronald McDonald (the leader of Republican McParty) and, in this office, threw back the plans of the Republican McParty for decades. As a consequence, the Democratic Kings have kind of taken the control about the Nation somehow, but as they seem to be too stuffed by their own food, they haven’t taken real advantages out of the weakness of the Republican McParty. But who knows, maybe the MCACMFFFN aren’t as stupid as their name and have infiltrated the Democratic Kings to such a high level with their agents that they are sort of paralyzed and unable to act dynamically. In the constant situation, there is only one thing clear: The bloody civil war in the beautiful Alp-country called Fast Food Nation will last for some more horrible years of food combats, Happy Meals and Hot Brownies.

Be shocked! Think about it! Donate money to the thousands of innocent victims, so that they finally have the possibility to draw their fat off. Thank you!



1. Andy - maí 30, 2006

adipose story…! And just, because I´m polyunsaturated, I´m leaving now for lunch. And of cause, I already chose my side of you imaginary fat-al nation. How about you?

2. herraheri - maí 30, 2006

of cohhourse…!This whole „Mc“-shit is annoying me. So, as a BK-fan, I am proud that Hechingen will soon join the imaginary District of King City!

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